Smokers.

So this morning I was heading out to check the mail. I got to the door and saw two elderly ladies there, ready to knock. They were Jehovah's Witnesses, here to hand me a pamphlet that invited me to the Kingdom Hall for a meeting to talk about Jesus.

(Note: Their religion is completely irrelevant in this story)

They handed me a pamphlet, I thanked them, and they commented on what a nice day it was; then one of them looked down at the cigarette butts on my lawn. I usually keep it tidy, but my brother-in-law visited last night and we all sort of got a bit out of control on our front step.

She had this look of utter disgust on her face, looked right at me and said, 'You've been sitting out in the sun all morning, have you?' - her tone positively dripping with sarcasm.

I stared at her, then said, 'What?' I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be rude in case I was imagining things ... but honestly, there was no mistaking it. By the time they left, I really wished I'd said something.

It was a classic case of: it's not what she said, it was how she said it. She was looking at me like I was something she'd just scraped off the bottom of her shoe. They didn't say anything else, just walked away, shaking their heads.

Now I don't mind not smoking in any place that has a no smoking sign. I get a bit tiffed when people do that 'pointed cough' when you're smoking in a place where you're allowed to smoke. Hell, smoking is banned inside my house, and that was my decision. I have to always tell my Dad to fuck off outside with it when he visits. But now I'm being looked at like I'm dirty for smoking in my own front yard? You have to be fucking kidding me.

Anyway after this little encounter, I (for some stupid reason) posted about it on Facebook. I got a comment from a guy I went to school with, who I forgot was on my list because he never talks to me or updates his status, asking me why I would want to smoke anyway.

Um, excuse me? 

The thing that annoys me, is that I'm doing plenty of things that could potentially kill me. My diet's shit, and I might as well get an IV drip and inject the caffeine directly into my veins to save time. I know all this. I know all my vices and shortcomings - without anyone pointing them out to me.

But it's funny, no one does point them out to me; at least, not until smoking comes into it.

Why is it okay for you to look me in the eye and say, 'You are going to die and leave your kids alone'? What a fucking horrible thing to say. Why can't I just say right back, 'Look at all the fatty food you eat, you know you're going to have a heart attack at 40 and leave your kids all alone (not to mention all the shit you feed them)'?*

The hypocrisy makes my brain explode.

And speaking of; what about all the people on Facebook who post photos of themselves drinking every single weekend. Is that healthy? No one says anything to them about it and neither do I ... and you know why? Because it's none of my fucking business what they put in their bodies. Alcohol is legal and it doesn't hurt me if they drink. Unless they get shitfaced and start a fight with me or something, or if I love them and they end up having their stomach pumped or potentially dying (granted, I haven't looked up statistics on this one) at the end of one heavy night of drinking.

But I can't talk; we always hear of that stuff happening after someone smokes a pack of cigarettes -- right?

Oh and by the way, if you're one of those people who think smoking should be totally outlawed, read up on this guy, he totally shared your mentality.

*I totally had a certain person in mind while writing that.

(I have so much more to say on this, but writing about it pisses me off.)

Interesting related reading.

Smokers.

So this morning I was heading out to check the mail. I got to the door and saw two elderly ladies there, ready to knock. They were Jehovah's Witnesses, here to hand me a pamphlet that invited me to the Kingdom Hall for a meeting to talk about Jesus.

Now let me just say, I was raised Catholic, but I don't currently identify with any particular religion or faith ... but that being said I think faith is a good thing. I feel rather unlucky that I'm lacking it. I'm always happy enough to hear what people have to say when they come to the door, no matter what kind of bible they're toting; though he only get Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses here. I don't usually talk long, not because I disagree with them or dislike them, but because I know a lot about it already. My Mother's a Jehovah's Witness.

But, I digress. They handed me a pamphlet, I thanked them, and they commented on what a nice day it was; then one of them looked down at the cigarette butts on my lawn. I usually keep it tidy, but my brother-in-law visited last night and we all sort of got a bit out of control on our front step.

She had this look of utter disgust on her face, looked right at me and said, 'You've been sitting out in the sun all morning, have you?' - her tone positively dripping with sarcasm.

I stared at her, then said, 'What?' I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be rude in case I was imagining things ... but honestly, there was no mistaking it. By the time they left, I really wished I'd said something.

It was a classic case of: it's not what she said, it was how she said it. She was looking at me like I was something she'd just scraped off the bottom of her shoe. They didn't say anything else, just walked away, shaking their heads.

Now I don't mind not smoking in any place that has a no smoking sign. I get a bit tiffed when people do that 'pointed cough' when you're smoking in a place where you're allowed to smoke. Hell, smoking is banned inside my house, and that was my decision. I have to always tell my Dad to fuck off outside with it when he visits. But now I'm being looked at like I'm dirty for smoking in my own front yard? You have to be fucking kidding me.

Anyway after this little encounter, I (for some stupid reason) posted about it on Facebook. I got a comment from a guy I went to school with, who I forgot was on my list because he never talks to me or updates his status, asking me why I would want to smoke anyway.

Um, excuse me? 

The thing that annoys me, is that I'm doing plenty of things that could potentially kill me. My diet's shit, and I might as well get an IV drip and inject the caffeine directly into my veins to save time. I know all this. I know all my vices and shortcomings - without anyone pointing them out to me.

But it's funny, no one does point them out to me; at least, not until smoking comes into it.

Why is it okay for you to look me in the eye and say, 'You are going to die and leave your kids alone'? What a fucking horrible thing to say. Why can't I just say right back, 'Look at all the fatty food you eat, you know you're going to have a heart attack at 40 and leave your kids all alone (not to mention all the shit you feed them)'?*

The hypocrisy makes my brain explode.

And speaking of; what about all the people on Facebook who post photos of themselves drinking every single weekend. Is that healthy? No one says anything to them about it and neither do I ... and you know why? Because it's none of my fucking business what they put in their bodies. Alcohol is legal and it doesn't hurt me if they drink. Unless they get shitfaced and start a fight with me or something, or if I love them and they end up having their stomach pumped or potentially dying (granted, I haven't looked up statistics on this one) at the end of one heavy night of drinking.

But I can't talk; we always hear of that stuff happening after someone smokes a pack of cigarettes -- right?

Oh and by the way, if you're one of those people who think smoking should be totally outlawed, read up on this guy, he totally shared your mentality.

*I totally had a certain person in mind while writing that.

(I have so much more to say on this, but writing about it pisses me off.)

Interesting related reading.

Smokers.

So this morning I was heading out to check the mail. I got to the door and saw two elderly ladies there, ready to knock. They were Jehovah's Witnesses, here to hand me a pamphlet that invited me to the Kingdom Hall for a meeting to talk about Jesus.

Now let me just say, I was raised Catholic, but I don't currently identify with any particular religion or faith ... but that being said I think faith is a good thing. I feel rather unlucky that I'm lacking it. I'm always happy enough to hear what people have to say when they come to the door, no matter what kind of bible they're toting; though he only get Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses here. I don't usually talk long, not because I disagree with them or dislike them, but because I know a lot about it already. My Mother's a Jehovah's Witness.

But, I digress. They handed me a pamphlet, I thanked them, and they commented on what a nice day it was; then one of them looked down at the cigarette butts on my lawn. I usually keep it tidy, but my brother-in-law visited last night and we all sort of got a bit out of control on our front step.

She had this look of utter disgust on her face, looked right at me and said, 'You've been sitting out in the sun all morning, have you?' - her tone positively dripping with sarcasm.

I stared at her, then said, 'What?' I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be rude in case I was imagining things ... but honestly, there was no mistaking it. By the time they left, I really wished I'd said something.

It was a classic case of: it's not what she said, it was how she said it. She was looking at me like I was something she'd just scraped off the bottom of her shoe. They didn't say anything else, just walked away, shaking their heads.

Now I don't mind not smoking in any place that has a no smoking sign. I get a bit tiffed when people do that 'pointed cough' when you're smoking in a place where you're allowed to smoke. Hell, smoking is banned inside my house, and that was my decision. I have to always tell my Dad to fuck off outside with it when he visits. But now I'm being looked at like I'm dirty for smoking in my own front yard? You have to be fucking kidding me.

Anyway after this little encounter, I (for some stupid reason) posted about it on Facebook. I got a comment from a guy I went to school with, who I forgot was on my list because he never talks to me or updates his status, asking me why I would want to smoke anyway.

Um, excuse me? 

The thing that annoys me, is that I'm doing plenty of things that could potentially kill me. My diet's shit, and I might as well get an IV drip and inject the caffeine directly into my veins to save time. I know all this. I know all my vices and shortcomings - without anyone pointing them out to me.

But it's funny, no one does point them out to me; at least, not until smoking comes into it.

Why is it okay for you to look me in the eye and say, 'You are going to die and leave your kids alone'? What a fucking horrible thing to say. Why can't I just say right back, 'Look at all the fatty food you eat, you know you're going to have a heart attack at 40 and leave your kids all alone (not to mention all the shit you feed them)'?*

The hypocrisy makes my brain explode.

And speaking of; what about all the people on Facebook who post photos of themselves drinking every single weekend. Is that healthy? No one says anything to them about it and neither do I ... and you know why? Because it's none of my fucking business what they put in their bodies. Alcohol is legal and it doesn't hurt me if they drink. Unless they get shitfaced and start a fight with me or something, or if I love them and they end up having their stomach pumped or potentially dying (granted, I haven't looked up statistics on this one) at the end of one heavy night of drinking.

But I can't talk; we always hear of that stuff happening after someone smokes a pack of cigarettes -- right?

Oh and by the way, if you're one of those people who think smoking should be totally outlawed, read up on this guy, he totally shared your mentality.

*I totally had a certain person in mind while writing that.

(I have so much more to say on this, but writing about it pisses me off.)

Interesting related reading.

Word Sketching

My boyfriend was driving me to the airport the other day; it's a bit of a drive, and I felt like writing but I didn't know what. So I got out my pen and paper and just starting describing every I saw, in the greatest detail I could. I decided to call it word sketching, because I thought it's a bit like an artist sketching a scene that inspires them :)


With word sketching, when you see a place, a person, a situation, anything, it helps you record what you may have taken no notice of if you weren't looking for it. You're writing it down on paper, and writing in as much detail as you can, so you won't forget. A wonderful character, scene or even a whole story might come from it. I think this exercise would be especially helpful if descriptions aren't always your strong point (Like me).


'Word Sketching' - How I do it.


Word Sketching is basically just that, 'sketching' a description with your words.


I really recommend doing this exercise in a car (as long as you're not driving!), or some kind of public transport. I first did this while my boyfriend drove me to the city, and when you're in the car and constantly moving, you can't hem and haw and be choosy over your words when describing a scene before you, because it will be gone by the time you even begin writing. If you write quickly and furiously, you'll end up with a vivid word-picture. Just write, don't worry about your wording. Even if you have a whole paragraph of poorly written description, there's bound to be a gem there somewhere. It's a great way to learn to describe-on-the-fly. Nothing hinders your creativity like stopping for ten minutes to try and decide how to describe your main character's eyes.


Some of the things I word sketched were, an abandoned building, a park on a block surrounded by busy streets, a water fountain, even a man walking down an empty street, with a tray of four McDonalds ice-creams, even though he was no where near a McDonalds (There has to be a short story there. Maybe).


What's your favourite writing exercise? Have you tried something like word sketching before, or do you plan to now you've read my post? Do you find it helpful? Comment below!




Disclaimer: I don't claim that I invented word sketching. It's a simple idea and I'm sure it's been done before. I have quickly googled the actual term however ('word sketching'), and nothing has come up in this context, as far as I can see :)


[Copied from my old abandoned blog ;]

5 Easy Steps: How to Plan a Novel

Let me start this by saying, there is no one way to plan a novel, but I do get the question a fair bit. I'm not telling anybody they must do things this way - I'm just saying, this is my way of doing things. Some people don't feel the need to outline at all, finding that they work better without one. I'm not one of these people.
Feel free to try my ideas out, borrow bits and pieces, adapt them so they suit you ... regardless, if I help one person  I thought it would be useful to explain my process. If you're anything like me and you're new to something, you like to read step by step instructions of exactly how to do something - still knowing that youwill change it, and no one person's word is gospel. This is how we grow as writers.

If you don't like my way, or you want more information beyond simply planning, perhaps you can check out some books on the subject - try out Stephen King's On Writing, or Writing Fiction for Dummies. If you don't want to buy books, a quick Google search can bring up almost anything.

Before anything else, I should say that I can't tell you where to get an idea. You either have them or you don't. There are exercises that can inspire you, of course - the best of us get writer's block - but if you've never written a word of a story in your life (or even worse, never even read a book), then maybe writing isn't for you. It might seem an obvious thing to say, but you'd be surprised how many people I have known personally who have said, Oh I'm going to write a novel! What have I read? Er nothing really. Most of these people are avid movie-watchers, but watching movies really doesn't help in writing a novel or a story.


1. Building on an idea
So you have an idea. The first thing I do is sit down, and write the whole story in a summary. I usually do this with a point system; I'll use a famous book as an example.

1. A young boy begins getting strange letters.
2. A man comes and tells him he is a wizard.
3. The boy goes to a school for witchcraft and wizadry.

And so on. Some of my 'points' are a few words, some are around a hundred, but I try and keep it concise (and regularly fail) and I keep going until I have finished telling the story. I hand-write my summaries, but you can do it on the computer if you're more comfortable with that.

 I usually finish with around the number 80 (I don't know how this happens, it just usually does). This is where I don't worry about character names or backgrounds - I create them to fit into the story I have created. Some people like to do this the other way around, and this is fine too.


2. Giving order to your ideas
This is where I sort my ideas out. You can do this in a number of ways; for instance, you could dedicate a page to each chapter, detailing everything that happens to your protagonist/s and any other characters of importance. Me, I like to use a chart.

I used to make my charts in Excel, but now I draw them with pen and paper, because I prefer having the paper before me, and I have this curse where my printers like to get broken (or stolen - yep that happened, just the printer). I also feel that my ideas flow more freely when I write long-hand. All my planning is hand-written in folders, all my actual writing has to be on the computer. It works for me.

Here's an example of a novel-planning chart, how I do them - done in excel for convenience.

I made the story up off the top of the head, (a story totally worthy of the characters named Mary Sue and Gary Stu, in my opinion), but you get the general idea. If I want more detail on a chapter while using this method, I go back and read the notes that I wrote during the first step above. The best thing for me about the chart is that I can keep track of time, which is important if the story is set over a length of time, especially seeing as I like to get very adjective-y (Yay for making up words) about the seasons and such. The character headings are efficient in reminding me of what every important character is up to during each chapter, even if they don't actually appear in that chapter.

When it comes to knowing which points from my notes to put in which boxes on my chart - I use my intuition, and I change my mind very regularly during the actual writing.


3. Creating Characters
I debated over including this point on my list, seeing as it veers away from planning a novel, but I think it's too important to leave out, especially if you're a beginner reading this.

Characters are hard to create. They need to be interesting, the reader needs to care about them. They can't be cliched (not too cliched) and they need to be three dimensional. There's nothing worse than a good idea ruined by bad characters; I regularly say that Twilight actually had some potential, and it's my opinion that the characters - among many other things - were a massive reason why the potential wasn't met.

(See here for the other reasons ;) Hilarious.)

You may want to move this point up the list, if you are one of the people I mentioned earlier, and like the story to fit your already created characters and not vice-verse. I like to start with how they look, and usually a personality will form along with it. You can tie in with this, goals and aspirations for the character. These will drive them as the story progresses.

I won't go into too much detail about this point,  I'll leave it for another article. If you can't wait, this is an excellent recourse for help with creating realistic, fleshed-out characters.

4. Research/World Building.
This is largely dependent on the genre in which your story belongs. If it's 'real world' fiction, you may want to make up a fictional town. If you use a real town or city, or a country that you aren't too familiar with, you better get researching. Google maps Street View is a good way to do this, but I'd recommend exploring the area yourself, if possible. If your story is set in the past, research the time period, everything from language to clothing to etiquette. 

If you're writing a fantasy it can be tricky, but you also have a lot more freedom. You'll need to create a world. This can take a while, and it should - you want it to be realistic. You don't need to be akin to Tolkien, but things should be believable. I like to start with maps. I'm no artist; my maps are mostly squiggly lines, circles and squares, but it helps. There are a lot of fun things to play with - I like naming currency and making up cool town and country names. 


5. Write.
When you're comfortable that you have everything you need to begin your story, begin writing! Don't be scared to veer from the plan if it feels right. Make sure you have a sound knowledge of basic grammar and formatting, because this can be a bitch to fix later if your draft is absolutely riddled with errors. If that's something you have a problem with, I recommend writing a couple (of hundred) short stories before committing to anything big. Fan fiction can be good practice too - and it's also an opportunity to gratify your inner fanboy/girl


6. Bonus Writing Tip: Read, read, read
Reading is the best way to learn how to write. As I said earlier in this post, if you don't read, you lack to foundation needed to learn to write. It's never too late to start reading. As a child, you often learn by example, and it's rarely different even when we grow.

If you have a story idea, and it fits into a specific genre, start reading books of that genre. Finding the books is easy, it's nothing a quick Google search won't assist with - search something like, 'List of -Insert Genre'-Novels'.

Fantasy is really popular right now, and there are countless websites and forums dedicated to readers and writers of Fantasy. If you want to write Historical Fiction,  read Historical Fiction. If you want to write Comedy (and I tip my cap to you if you do this successfully) read Comedy. It's that simple - and that complicated. But if you have passion and determination, there's no reason why you can't succeed.

Need motivation? Participate in National Novel Writing Month this November!

To Read: A List

This is my reading list. I have no particular order in mind, nor do I have a 'deadline' by which to read them all. For now, the list is a bit Fantasy-dominated, but only because I'm writing a Fantasy series and thought I should brush up :) Once I start getting through them, I'll make a seperate post for my 'Have read' list. If anyone has any reviews or recommendations, don't hesitate to comment!
Go!
________________________


1. The Name of the Wind, by Patrick Rothfuss

Told in Kvothe's own voice, this is the tale of the magically gifted young man who grows to be the most notorious wizard his world has ever seen.The intimate narrative of his childhood in a troupe of traveling players, his years spent as a near-feral orphan in a crime-ridden city, his daringly brazen yet successful bid to enter a legendary school of magic, and his life as a fugitive after the murder of a king form a gripping coming-of-age story unrivaled in recent literature. A high-action story written with a poet's hand, The Name of the Wind is a masterpiece that will transport readers into the body and mind of a wizard. 

2. A Game of Thrones, by George R. R. Martin

Here is the first volume in George R. R. Martin’s magnificent cycle of novels that includes A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords, A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons. As a whole, this series comprises a genuine masterpiece of modern fantasy, bringing together the best the genre has to offer. Magic, mystery, intrigue, romance, and adventure fill these pages and transport us to a world unlike any we have ever experienced. Already hailed as a classic, George R. R. Martin’s stunning series is destined to stand as one of the great achievements of imaginative fiction. 

3. The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins

In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. In the previous war the Capitol took over and now, the Capitol is harsh and cruel and keeps the districts in line by forcing them all to send one boy and one girl from each district, between the ages of twelve and eighteen to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight to the death on live TV.

Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen regards it as a death sentence when she steps forward to take her sister's place in the Games. Will she win or will she die?

4. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clark

At the dawn of the nineteenth century, two very different magicians emerge to change England’s history. In the year 1806, with the Napoleonic Wars raging on land and sea, most people believe magic to be long dead in England — until the reclusive Mr. Norrell reveals his powers, and becomes a celebrity overnight. Soon, another practicing magician comes forth: the young, handsome and daring Jonathan Strange. He becomes Norrell’s student, and they join forces in the war against France. But Strange is increasingly drawn to the wildest, most perilous forms of magic, straining his partnership with Norrell, and putting at risk everything else he holds dear. 

5. The Odyssey, by Homer

If The Iliad is the world's greatest war epic, then The Odyssey is literature's grandest evocation of everyman's journey though life. Odysseus's reliance on his wit and wiliness for survival in his encounters with divine and natural forces during his ten-year voyage home to Ithaca after the Trojan War is at once a timeless human story and an individual test of moral endurance...

6. More, Now, Again, by Elizabeth Wurtzel

Elizabeth Wurtzel published her memoir of depression, Prozac Nation, to astonishing literary acclaim. A cultural phenomenon by age twenty-six, she had fame, money, respecteverything she had always wanted except that one, true thing: happiness. For all of her professional success, Wurtzel felt like a failure. She had lost friends and lovers, every magazine job she'd held, and way too much weight. She couldn't write, and her second book was past due. But when her doctor prescribed Ritalin to help her focus-and boost the effects of her antidepressants -- Wurtzel was spared. The Ritalin worked. And worked. The pills became her sugar...the sweetness in the days that have none. Soon she began grinding up the Ritalin and snorting it. Then came the cocaine, then more Ritalin, then more cocaine. Then I need more. I always need more. For all of my life I have needed more... More, Now, Again is the brutally honest, often painful account of Wurtzel's descent into drug addiction. 

7. The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath

Esther Greenwood is brilliant, beautiful, enormously talented and successful, but slowly going under — maybe for the last time. In her acclaimed and enduring masterwork, Sylvia Plath brilliantly draws the reader into Esther's breakdown with such intensity that her insanity becomes palpably real, even rational — as accessible an experience as going to the movies. A deep penetration into the darkest and most harrowing corners of the human psyche, The Bell Jar is an extraordinary accomplishment and a haunting American classic. 

It's my writing blog! Yay!

I'm not sure what I'll be posting. Probably short stories, other plot ideas, book reviews, general rants (I do like to rant). I enjoy writing about music, books, feminism ... oh and about twilight-hating (read: beating a dead horse).
I'm a serial blogger/blog-deleter so me hopes this one sticks.
Yay!